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He is steping around of my house. Like usually he does, he gives some of hopeful to all of my plants that I took behind of my house. To all of grasses that grow up around of my house and birds that fly up near from my house. If you are here with me, you will know, how bright he is. If you are here with me, you will see how clear his smile is. And if you are here with me, you can look, how sweat his smile and his face are.

He is still standing outside. Beside of me. Behind of my house that built about 15 years ago. And birds still talk about something. And the air still blows softly. And of course, a sun still shines brightly. As bright as his smile. I know, if you read it, you will ask in your each brains. Is he so special for me? And before you ask it to me, I answer YES. He is so special for me. Not just for now, but until the end of time. Until I will say the last statement that I wanna close my eyes. Until the birds can’t talk each others. Until a sun can’t shine as bright as now. Until I have to say goodbye to all of elements on the world. And until I raise my hands and say to God, I am ready to see Your face.

He has ever said to me. Statement that I still remember until now. Until I’m 17 years old. Until my mom had to die last year. Until my small chicken grows up becoming bigger. And until he has white hair in part of his head. He has ever said something special. As special as he for me. As special as his face for me. As special as his smile for me. Not just for me, I said one again. But for all of elements that grow up on the earth. Grow up under of sky. In front of our eyes. On the land. On the sea, lake, and shore. “If you can fly, you have to remember about something important, don’t you ever see behind of you. Don’t you see under of you. Don’t you see your up. But see everything that placed in front of you.” He has said when I was 7 years old. If you can count, if you can calculate, it was about 10 years ago. It means that has long time, right? And how strong I am can remember it clearly. As celar as his smile. As celar as his face. As clear as his brain. And you know, guys? He always smiled. Not just if he got something special and when he felt everything was allright, but when he got something trouble, he still smiled. When my mom died last year, he was smiling. Not trouble face there. I found happy face. But I found pain eyes too. And you know what my neighbours said? “I’m sure he is happy. He wants to get married again. I’m sure.” But, you have to know what he said when he heard it, “I’m sure my wife in the heaven now.” That was so amazing for me. Really amazing thing.

“Son, give them something special. Like you get from me.” He said
I am shocking. And get up from my mind, “Pardon me?”
“Give something special to all of elements on the world you can do.”
“I don’t understand!”
“If you are adult, you are gonna understand what I mean.” He smiled

And I am still comfused


The sky is cloudy. Dark sky today. It means that there is something trouble today. Something that can’t I say to you. But, you will know if you read my story completely. The sky is cloudy and the winds can’t compromise. They blow hard. They blow cruely. They can’t be silent. They can’t be patient. And of course, if you are here with me, you will see what I can’t say it. You will be same like me. Can’t say anything. Just can cry and be sad.

And like when my mother died, a lot of people that sit down and read a little book and there, you will see full of Arabic writing. We call it Yasin. They read it together. And what I feel now? Are I happy because they read what they have to read? Not. In fact, I am angry. Really angry. They are bullshit. Really bullshit. They just can think worse and can’t think clearly. And I am sure you know why I am angry with them. Because I remember what they did. What they said. And what they told. Whatever, I don’t care about them. They wanna read or not, that ain’t my problem.

I open white cloth that draping his face.
“Dad, you have to know, I will continue your missions. Missions that can’t you do. Missions that you always dreamt. I will continue what you wanna do. I will continue your smile. I will continue your bright. I promise, I will give a lot of wishes that you can’t you give. Not can’t, but haven’t you done yet. I promise.

I have written “DJAROT” on your tombstone. I write it clearly. As celar as your smile. As clear as your struggle. I will continue.

For you.” and I close white cloth that forbidding his face. And promise to go on…

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